


it's not like it's a crush

by nerfherder_02



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cool School Nurse! Maz, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Han is MIA, Principal!Leia, Slow Burn, Tutor!Ben, a little finnrose eventually, because i love them, because that's what teenagers do, but mostly reylo centric, but we knew that, nothing graphic, rated teen for unkar's abusive tendencies, tros means nothing to me, unkar plutt sucks, yeah rey's a kryze
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27109828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerfherder_02/pseuds/nerfherder_02
Summary: Rey Kryze struggles to balance her draining, pretty much abusive, relationship with her "uncle" Unkar Plutt, with her responsibilities at school. When she's late one too many times for school, Principal Organa-Solo decides it's beyond the last straw, and assigns Rey to a tutor for her struggling grades and attendance. In an amazing stroke of luck, her tutor is Ben Solo, Leia's son, and the one boy in school that she's never been able to figure out.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	1. Something Like That

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! I've had the beginnings of this story written since June of 2019, so I'm sorry I'm here late, but oh well, it's fun to hop on later rather than never. I'm new to AO3, but have been a guest kudo-er for some time now! Sorry if I sound like an overexcited puppy, that's because I am, if you've seen my tumblr, you already know I am. (I'm nerfherder-02 on tumblr). Anyways, have a great day! :)

Rey Kryze gazes longingly out of the back window of her parents’ SUV for what feels like the last time for a nine-year-old such as herself. The Chicago skyline fades in the distance, and Rey sighs sadly. Neither of her parents gives so much as a glance back to her. Apprehension creeps into Rey’s mind, but she shuts it out. _Mom and Dad are going on vacation, maybe to Disney World. They’ll find me, someday. They say Uncle Unkar is nice._ Her naive trust anchors her racing mind. She watches as the scenery outside morphs from city, to suburban, to wilderness. _How could Unkar live so far away?_ No signs of grocery stores, skyscrapers, apartments, or fast food places pass by. Soon, the hum and motion of the car lull Rey into drowsiness. She vowed earlier to stay awake for every moment with her parents, but her little self cannot resist the call of sleep.

Maybe it was best that she fell asleep, so she did not see the utter apathy in her parents’ faces as they handed her sleeping form off to Unkar Plutt. Her last memories with Mom and Dad will remain pleasant, though traced with loss. When Rey wakes up, she finds herself in a twin-size bed furnished with musty, faded beige sheets. The room is cramped: a three-drawer dresser covered in chipping paint rests in one corner, and an equally dismal desk sits in the opposite corner. Rey immediately realizes that she must be at Unkar’s house, and that her parents must have already left. At this terrible thought, she begins to cry softly, but not for long. The door of the room swings open, and Unkar’s pudgy face appears from behind it.

“So, you’re awake. Alright, get up. We’ve got work to do,” he commands, and Rey dutifully obeys, following him out the door and down the rickety stairway. They pass through a grimy, dim kitchen and a bare living room, finally reaching the back door. Unkar pulls it open to reveal a cluttered workshop, filled with what Rey recognizes as trinkets similar to the old antiques her parents would sell. Unkar points out a small work station in the back, with only a small nightstand lamp to illuminate it, “That’s yours. Your parents did this stuff, right?”

Rey nods, eyes still scanning the room.

“Did they ever teach you how to fix the stuff?”

This time, Rey shakes her head. She had always watched her parents as they refurbished the items.

“Well, you’re going to learn quick. I’m not like your parents; you’ve got to work to live. No progress, no food.”

Rey’s eyes, filling with fearful tears, go wide at the prospect, but again her sorrow is interrupted.

“And you’re not going to cry now, either. You cry on the projects, you’re done for,” Unkar threatens, taking her arm and leading her to her small area in the back. He sits her down at the table and begins to review every tool, every technique. Finally, he pulls out her first assignment, an old, beat-up doll dressed in an orange suit. “This one you can keep, so you can practice. Your real work starts tomorrow afternoon; you have school during the day.”

Each new piece of information hits Rey like a storm surge. So many new responsibilities, Rey wishes she could wake up and tell her parents about her awful nightmare. But the nightmare has become reality.

—————————–

“Hey! Wake up over there!” Unkar shouts across the room to Rey, daydreaming about when this nightmare began.

“Sorry,” Rey mumbles, resuming her work on the delicate music box in front of her, the interior components spread across her table. Each precious piece has to be cleaned, and put back together, all before school starts in forty minutes. There’s no other option for Rey, she’s learned that much from her seven years of work for Plutt. 

After an hour of feverish effort, Rey finally closes up the finished product and sprints up the stairs to find her school clothes, quickly ties her hair up, and rushes out the door with all of her stuff. She knows she’s late for school, but she still feels the need to get there as soon as possible. The school is a fifteen minute walk, so Rey makes it a five minute and eight second dash, besting her most recent record. Nevertheless, Principal Organa-Solo is there to meet her at the door. Rey’s stomach drops, she’s in for it this time.

“Thought you might show up sooner or later. Your alarm didn’t ring again?” the middle-aged, well-dressed administrator asks. 

“Something like that,” Rey mumbles as Organa-Solo leads her to the office. She motions to the seat in front of her desk and closes the door.

“Look, Rey. We need to talk. You’ve been late, let’s see, sixty-seven times, and second semester has only just begun. I don’t think a faulty alarm can be responsible for that many days.”

“Mrs. Organa-Solo, I’m really sorry, it’s just that I work a lot and sometimes it makes me late. It’s no big deal, really!”

“No big deal? Rey this is way beyond simple tardiness, this is truancy we’re talking about. Your boss could be prosecuted for barring a child from school attendance! Either you need to quit, or he needs to stop giving you hours during the school day.”

“But… I can’t quit, my family depends on me!” _More like that filth will have my hide if I don’t meet quota._

“Rey, I know how you feel. Even though I grew up well-off, my family still placed immense pressure on me to start my career very young. However, I am your principal, and I must tell you that this is unacceptable. You’re a junior in high school, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, why put yourself behind now?”

“I know, but I really cannot change my situation. I don’t know how to make you understand; there is nothing I can do!”

Leia sighs. “I know this seems impossible, I know. But you must trust me; I’m on your side. I just want you to succeed, and avoiding school, failing classes, these things are just not good for you.”

 _Don’t you think I know that?_ How many times had she lay awake at night, paralyzed with fear at the image of working for an ageless Plutt. “I don’t want this any more than you do. Believe me, I wish I could be like everybody else, but I have to just accept my situation.”

“Rey. I’m going to be perfectly clear with you. If you don’t lay out for me here and now how you are going to take steps to fix this issue, I will be forced to launch an investigation of your family and work. It’s the law, and I believe I’ve tolerated this long enough. You cannot continue to neglect your schoolwork and expect no consequences.”

“But… fine, what do I need to do?”

“You know your circumstances best. You tell me. Only when you refuse to cooperate, or things get worse, will I lay out my solution. I’m here to help, but I have to do my job if you keep this up.”

“Well, I have an hour after school before I need to be at work again. Maybe to avoid failing my classes, I could work on schoolwork then?”

“Perfect. I’ll have to assign you a tutor so I can be sure that you’re keeping your promises, though.”

“I don’t really have much of a choice then,” Rey laughs.

“No, I’m afraid not. And what about the tardiness?”

“I’ll just tell my boss that I have to go to school, otherwise he’ll be in trouble with the law.” His one weakness is the threat of intervention from law enforcement, but the card can only be played so often.

“Alright then. I’ll expect no more tardies.”

“I certainly hope so.”

“You’re a good kid, Rey.” Leia smiles as Rey swings open the door.

“Thanks for everything.”

—————————–

“Well, well, look who decided to show up,” Mr. Snoek remarks.

“Not to worry, I have a permit,” Rey replies, flashing her pink hall pass from the office. The class ripples with laughter as she hands the slip of paper to the history teacher.

“Alright everyone, that’s enough. Take your seat, Miss Kryze,” he commands, and Rey moves to sit at her desk in the back left of the class, right next to Finn. “Open your books to page 107, if you somehow remember, yesterday we didn’t finish reviewing the Holy Roman Empire.”

His voice melts away from Rey’s ears as Finn leans over to whisper, “Late again?”

“You know it. This time Organa-Solo caught me.”

“No way, how’d you get out of that situation?”

“I just promised her I’d get a tutor and tell my boss to let me come to school.”

“Dang, that was easy-” Finn starts to reply. The two friends quickly go silent as Mr. Snoek throws an icy glare their way. Rey shrugs at Finn and commences her usual in-class habit, observation. All her classmates she knew fairly well. Illeenium High was not a small school, but Rey has had since the third grade to get to know them. Obviously there’s Finn, her first friend. Then there’s Poe Dameron, the biggest hotshot to ever exist, as if the jock stereotype found a physical manifestation. He isn’t all that bad, just a bit cocky on occasion. Not to be forgotten are Gwen Phasma and Armitage Hux, a couple of jerky conspiracy theorists with a strange secret society, typical high school stuff. 

Of course Rey knows of many more classmates, but the one who captures her attention the most often is Ben Solo. Maybe it’s because he just never looks at her, making himself a perfect target, or maybe it’s because he never looks up or talks anyways, and in Rey’s seven years here she has yet to figure out what kind of a person he is. She knows he hangs out with Gwen and Armitage, but he’s also the principal’s son, and that’s about all she, or anyone else for that matter, can figure out about him. It’s not like she has a crush on him or anything, it’s just that her curiosity gets the best of her. Maybe one of these days she should just go up and ask him what his deal is.

Unfortunately that day would have to wait, the deceivingly gentle sounding of the bell wakes Rey out of her thoughts. Finn, now next to her with his backpack slung over one arm, nudges her shoulder.

“Dreaming about Solo again?” he teases, evidently aware of her reverie.

“What? Never. Just, thinking,” Rey replies as she steps out of the classroom, turning to face Finn who followed her out the door.

“About Solo,” Finn insists with a knowing grin.

“Whatever makes you happy, Finn,” she laughs and gives him a knock on the arm. He turns to go, and she calls after him, “Now don’t be late for Calc!”

“I’m not the one who’s late!”

With a smile still lingering on her face, Rey makes her way to the nearest staircase; her next class is on the second level. Still stuck replaying Finn’s comments, Rey feels her books fly out of her arms as she runs into, of all people, Ben Solo. Falling to the landing only a step below her, Rey gasps in alarm, and then in pain as her hands, quickly flung out behind her, meet the unforgiving tile.

“I’m so sorry, are you hurt?” Ben stoops to pick up Rey’s scattered folders and textbooks.

Rey is tempted to make an angry, sarcastic retort, but she remembers her resolution earlier, and decides against it. Gingerly, she flexes her wrists and replies, “Ah! Uh, yeah, I’ll be okay.”

With her lost class supplies in his right arm, Ben reaches for Rey’s arm. “That looked bad. You should see the nurse.”

“I’ll be fine, really,” Rey attempts a smile as she reaches for her books, but winces as she tries to grasp them.

“You’re not very convincing, come on. You’ve got to see the nurse.”

Rey sees the uselessness of more excuses, so she simplys sighs and follows the tall boy down the stairs and through the hall to the office. “Hey, aren’t you going to be late for class?”

“Nah, the teachers never give me tardies because of my mom. Besides, I can just get a pass from the nurse, she’s a cool lady.”

“Do you just go to the nurse all the time or something?”

“I mean, not so much anymore, but I used to get awful headaches for hours at a time.”

“That doesn’t sound fun.”

“No, not at all, huh. Well, here we are. Sorry about all this, by the way.”

“What? Oh, yeah, you’re good, really!”

The nurse, Ms. Kanata, patches Rey up easily enough, but Rey’s still thinking about Ben.

“Is it true that Ben Solo comes here often?” she asks the nurse.

“Yes, interested?”

“What? I-” Rey splutters, caught off guard.

“I’ve been trying to set him up for years, so just let me know,” the petite lady with round glasses laughs. Rey smiles as well as she can, given the awkwardness of her situation. 

“I…”

“Just messing with you, no need to look so frightened.” The nurse finishes wrapping her wrist, hands her an ice pack, and continues, “All set! I’ll write you a pass, and you’ll be on your way.”

“Alright,” Rey replies tentatively, still somewhat curious about Ben.

“Oh, and about Ben, yes, he used to get bad headaches. Not so much anymore, so I hope it means he’s grown out of them, poor kid.”

“That doesn’t sound fun.”

“No, but the guy is a bit of a loner, so I’m not sure whether he minded too much.”

“Oh, that’s fair.”

“Well, here’s your pass. Keep some ice on the wrist, and next time, push Ben back! Just kidding! Bye now!”

Rey laughs as she opens the door with her good hand. “Okay, thank you, bye!”

 _Man is she weird, but like, a good weird_. Rey wonders how much more the woman knows about Ben, the stuff she can’t figure out herself.


	2. Distracting Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, chapter titles are based on bits of dialogue, because I suck at titling anything, oops!

Rather uneventfully, the rest of the day passes by. Rey makes an extra effort to absorb some of the information in her classes in hopes of not seeming completely ignorant in front of her tutor. The final bell sounds bright and clear, and with reluctance, Rey bids Finn goodbye at his locker and trudges to the main office.

A pleasant older man greets Rey at the desk. “What can I do for you, miss?”

“Hi, uh, I was told that I’d be going to tutoring after school every day, how does that work?”

“Well, the tutoring club meets in the library, so I’d suggest checking down there. You might want to hurry, it started three minutes ago.”

“Oh! Alright then, thank you!” Rey hurries out the door and makes a break for the library, down two flights of stairs and at the other end of a main hallway from her. Before she walks in, Rey takes a second to slow down and collect herself, but it does little for her racing heart and heavy breathing. As calmly as she can, she pushes open the door to the library and is greeted by the stares of everyone else already seated. 

“Are you here for tutoring, ‘hon?” the librarian, Mrs. Holdo, asks from her desk.

Rey’s eyes dart to the tall, but unimposing woman. “Yes. Sorry I’m late; it’s my first day.”

“That’s alright, let me look at my assignment list.” She adjusts her glasses, peering at her computer screen while Rey walks over to the desk. “You must be Rey?”

“That’s me.” Rey tries to mask her unease, still recovering from the humiliation of her tardiness. Unkar never accepts lateness. Explaining her situation today is going to be a nightmare.

“It looks like you’re going to be with Ben Solo.” _Ben_ _Solo_. Rey does a double take, and Mrs. Holdo notices her expression. “Are you alright?”

“Yes! I’m fine. We’d better get started!” Rey recovers, feigning excitement.

“Perfect, he’s right over here, come on.” She leads them to where Ben sits alone at a table, reading some sort of novel. “Ben! She’s here!” Holdo calls, and Ben quickly snaps his book shut and looks up to make eye contact with Rey. A mix of reactions dance across his face, surprise, fear, before settling on pleasantry.

“Hello again,” he greets Rey, as she slings off her backpack next to her seat across from him.

“You know each other?” Holdo asks, looking between the two for indicators of their previous interactions.

“Yeah, he’s in my history class,” Rey admits, hoping Ben won’t talk about the mishap on the stairs today.

“How wonderful it all worked out then. Well, I’ll leave you to it. If you need anything, I’m at my desk.” And with that, Mrs. Holdo returns to her computer.

Rey takes her seat, pulling out her folders and a pencil. She dares to glance up at Ben, who seems to have no trouble with seeing her again. Relief flares up within her. Maybe this doesn’t have to be as awkward as she thought.

“Alright, so, how do you want to start?” he asks, eyeing her folders, one labeled _Homework_ and the other not labeled at all.

“Don’t you tutors have it all planned out?”

“I have a general idea of what we should work on, but it’s up to you to decide what you most need help with.”

“What’s your general idea? Do they tell you my grades?”

“No. They don’t. Grades are confidential, even when you need help. But based on my impression of you, I’m guessing you struggle in history and other reading-based courses?”

“How insightful,” Rey quips. _What is wrong with you, Rey. He’s just here to help. Just because you’re afraid he knows you stare at him doesn’t make him the enemy._

“Well, you tend to stare off into space in history, but you’re smart enough to be in advanced math courses. So, reading?”

“I can’t give you a medal, but you’re pretty good. But how did you know I stare in history?” Ben raises an eyebrow, and Rey scrambles to recover. “Not like, stare, but like, space out. I do not stare at anyone in that class.”

“I get the idea. No need to be defensive. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re staring somewhere or at someone. The issue is you’re distracted, and struggling as a result.”

“Fair enough. You got me, I can’t stand history, or reading. I just don’t have time for it.”

“Yeah, the principal told me you said you work a lot.”

“That’s not your business. And isn’t she your mom?”

“I can’t help what the principal tells me. And yes, she is, but as long as we’re not at home I prefer not to call her as such very often.”

Rey shrugs. “Okay, I’ll back off. Did she tell you anything else about me?”

“You’re pretty good at distraction tactics. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it before.” _Is that a smirk on his face?_

“Hey, wait a minute. We barely know each other, and I want to know what you know about me. How is that distracting?”

“You’re not working on history the longer you talk to me about trivial points.”

“Trivial? Okay, English nerd, I want you to tell me what you know.”

“If it’ll get you to work on history, then fine. I know you’re always tardy to History class, sixty-seven times to be exact. I know you have a demanding, practically full-time job. I know you’re friends with Poe Dameron, Finn Storm, Rose Tico, and Kaydel Connix. I know you’re good at math, but fall asleep in any class that doesn’t involve building or calculating. And, I know you stare into space, but curiously in my direction during History. Does that help?”

Rey swallows uncomfortably. Either he knows, and he’s messing with her, or he just doesn’t get why she spaces out in his direction. “Yeah, thanks. History?”

“History.”

Rey rummages around in her homework folder.

“Maybe you should start with the notes?” Ben suggests, noticing her struggle. “Also, maybe try organizing your things more.”

“Noted. Maybe if I had more than two folders I could. Anyways, notes? I can’t say I take them. I don’t even have a notebook.”

“What about the notebook grade?”

“I just take the loss.”

“Rey, this is why you’re failing. If you don’t even get the easy grades, then you can’t expect to do well.”

“Hey, can you hear? I. Don’t. Have. A. Notebook.” Rey enunciates each word, trying her best to glare at him.

“Why not?”

“I just don’t.”

“Rey…”

“I can’t afford one. Happy?”

“I thought you worked?”

“Doesn’t mean the pay is good. Also doesn't mean I get to keep what I make.”

“Minimum wage is like seven dollars.”

“Seven-twenty-five, but tell that to my employer and he’ll have you fired.”

“Then quit. You don’t need the job.”

Her glare darkens. “Yes, I do. Look, I came here to study history, not to be probed. Can you just chill out and take what I say at face value? I promise I’m not lying, but I don’t need you asking a million questions when I don’t want to give an answer.”

“Fine. Can I get you a notebook? I can bring it to you tomorrow.”

“I guess. That’d be a good start, probably.”

“It would. But for now, you can just take mine. We have a quiz tomorrow, remember?”

“Shoot, you’re right. But really? You’d give them to me?”

“I don’t need to study, it’s all up here.” Ben points to the top of his head, and reaches in his bag for a green notebook neatly labeled _World_ _History_.

“If you say so.”

“I know so.”

“Okay, no need to show off.”

“Who said I was showing off?”

“Me. I did.” Rey jerks a thumb in her direction.

Ben rolls his eyes. “You’re distracting again.”

She dares to make eye contact again, projecting innocence. “Am I?”

“Yes. You are.” Ben hands her his notebook, a grin showing itself in his eyes. Then he points to the notebook. “Study.”

“Okay, okay.” She flips open the notebook, paging through until she finds the chapter she needs to work on. His penmanship is striking, neat, and almost practiced. Every single letter of its kind in formed the exact same way. “Do you write a lot?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Well you asked me a lot of ‘beside the point’ questions.”

“Did not. I was trying to gauge your study habits.”

“Whatever. Your handwriting is nice, but it looks like you spent a long time deciding what kind of handwriting to have.”

“How insightful.” Ben uses her own words on her, and she decides not to push it. She needs to get _something_ done after all. 

Soon enough, the hour is up, and Rey jumps to her feet, scrambling to pack up her folder and Ben’s notebook. 

“Why so rushed?”

“I can’t be late to work. I have one hour in between school’s end and when I start work.”

“I see. Well, see you tomorrow, and try to study for that quiz.”

“Yes. Thank you, and I’ll give you back your notebook tomorrow.”

“Yeah, whenever’s good. You can be here after school every day?”

“So far yeah. As long as I’m not late to work. I really gotta go.”

“Alright, see you later.”

“See ya.” Rey turns and walks as fast as humanly possible to the library doors, waving goodbye to Mrs. Holdo. When she reaches the hall, she takes off into a sprint. Seven minutes is all she has before she’s in for it.

————————

Ben watches her go, unable and quite possibly unwilling to decipher the jumble of emotions he’s feeling. There’s so much she’s not telling him. _Who is Rey Kryze?_ She'd always seemed reserved in class (except with her friends), and shy when he knocked down the stairs- yes, that still haunted him, even though she hadn't mentioned it. And yet, today she was almost fiery, something he hadn't expected. It wasn't a bad surprise, just a surprise. 

Hopefully she won’t fail the quiz tomorrow, otherwise he’s going to have to explain that one to his mother. She’s taken an interest in the girl, and for all his misgivings about this mother, he understands her concern for the girl. It’s a mystery, why someone with so much potential throws it all away for a job that doesn’t even pay minimum wage. There’s something going on he doesn’t know.

Ben takes his time in the library. Most tutoring pairs meet for two hours, maybe longer, but with Rey’s work schedule that won’t be possible for them. But he doesn’t want to go home, not yet. His mother is still working, and it’s a fairly far walk to his house from the school. And he’s not going to call his dad, not like he could anyways. So, Ben wanders over to Mrs. Holdo to see if he can help her with any library work. She’s practically his aunt; his mom and her were friends in college, and they were lucky enough to end up at the same school. They’ve remained close ever since. 

She looks up as he approaches, and smiles. “How was the first day?”

“Interesting, I think.”

“What does that mean,” Holdo laughs.

“Well, we didn’t really get to work on much. She’s really good at distraction tactics. But she can focus when she wants to. We got about a half hour of history work done, for our quiz tomorrow.”

“That’s great! What do you think of her?”

“Me? I’m not sure what you mean.”

“As a person. How do you like her?”

“Well, um. She’s cool, I guess? I guess I just don’t understand her.”

“I’m sure if anyone can get to know her, it’s you.”

“Mrs. Holdo, did my mom put you up to this?”

“No, I’m just curious. You’ve always been a mystery yourself, so I think it’s time you taste your own medicine.”

Ben quirks an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound very professional.”

“Who said I had to be professional with you, Ben?”

“I guess you’re right. It’s not like my mom is going to fire you.”

“Not so far.” Mrs. Holdo laughs again.

“Well, I have some time before I’m going home, can I help you?”

Holdo puts him to work sorting and reshelving books, and soon enough the announcement system rings with his mother’s voice. 

“Ben Solo, please come to the main office.”

The library ripples with snickers, and he feels heat in his ears. _Why did she have to do that?_

Ben returns to his table to grab his jacket and backpack, saying a goodbye to Mrs. Holdo as he goes. He takes his time making his way to the office, already seeing his mother’s disapproving face at his slowness. He doesn’t care. His mom never made time for him, why should he make time for her? Sure, she can pretend, and he can pretend for her sake at school, but that doesn’t change reality. She’s always working, always trying to help so many people that he gets left behind. And sure, he knows he shouldn’t be angry, his mother is an incredible person, just not the best mother. But he can’t stop being jealous, longing for her attention as a child, and never getting it. So now he’s biding his time until adulthood. It’s not the worst life he could have had. 

Soon enough, he’s in the office, where Ms. Kanata, the nurse, is packing up for the day. 

“Hey Ms. Kanata,” Ben greets her, and she turns to look at him.

“Ben! How’s the girl?”

“Fine as far as I can tell.” He shrugs, backpack rising up and down with his shouders.

“Good. You really knocked her, didn’t you?”

“Can’t say I meant to, but yeah. I feel bad, or at least, I felt bad, until she poked fun at me nonstop during tutoring.”

“Oh, so you’re her tutor, too? Sounds like more than just some girl to me.”

He puts a hand up. “Alright, take it easy. Nothing happened, and it’s not like I wanted anything to either.”

“If you say so. Anyways, I’m heading out for the night. See you tomorrow, and I had better not see your friend tomorrow.”

Just then, Leia walks in from her office. “Bye Maz! And Ben, what friend? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, mom.”

“Did something happen today?”

“Not much.”

“How’d tutoring go?” Ben grabs the door for his mother, and follows her to the car.

“Good.”

“Yeah? Tell me about it!”

“I don’t know. Hey, did you have me paired up with Rey on purpose?”

“Me? Maybe. Why?” Ben takes the driver’s seat, and Leia slides into the passenger side.

“It’s just, you’ve taken an interest in her and I can’t help but wonder if you’re using me to get to her.”

“And what if I am?”

“I’d appreciate you asking me first next time.”

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind. But it went well?”

“Yeah, we worked on history but she can only stay an hour before she has to go to work.”

“Did you find out where she works?”

He nearly swerves in surprise at the question. “No, Mom, what am I, a private investigator? Believe it or not, I don’t want to come off as creepy.”

“So she didn’t tell you?”

_This conversation is getting weirder and weirder_. “No? Why do you need to know?”

“She blames her truancy on her work, so as the principal I need to hold her workplace accountable.”

“Mom, I wouldn’t.”

“Ben, if you want to help your friend, then this is how. She needs to be at school. Otherwise she’ll get held back, and will end up a drop-out.”

“You don’t know that. What if- what if that would hurt her situation? Mom, she couldn’t afford a notebook. What if her family needs her to work?” He remembers the seriousness of Rey's eyes as she had said ' _Yes, I do.'_

“Then why hasn’t the government stepped in to help? I really should report this situation.”

“Just wait, I’ll try talking to her, figure out what’s going on. Then I’ll let you know.”

“I don’t like this. It’s against my job’s requirements, the law!”

“I know I can figure out how to help her. Mom, if you do something, and it hurts her, she’ll blame me, and I don’t want that.”

“That’s selfish.”

“No, what’s selfish is you not considering her feelings and her situation before jumping in with the law, not knowing how it could hurt her. Just, let me. If I can’t do it, then you can do what you need to.”

Leia sighs. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but alright. You win.”

“I won’t let you down, I know this is the best way to do it.” Ben takes an imperceptible breath of relief. 


	3. Office Supplies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I'm always going to have notes. Does anyone read these? Honestly it's fine either way. Basically, what I'm thinking is that I need to post enough to catch up to where I am on tumblr, then it'll probably go weekly or semi-weekly for updates. In other words, there's going to be a whole lot of update coming up, then I have to space it out. Also, sorry the chapter length is short, I'm just not used to writing for an actual post, so I'm not sure how best to divide up my super massive google doc, lol!

“You’re late,” Unkar says, deceptively calm, and Rey knows it. 

“I was busy. Plus I have an hour to get home after school anyways.”

“That’s not an excuse," he hisses, evidently becoming more agitated.

“I was working on homework.”

“Liar.”

Rey exhales gently, her frustration barely venting. “Here’s the deal. I was late again today, and this time the principal was waiting for me. She told me that if my grades and attendance don’t get better, the she’ll get the authorities involved. I didn’t want this either, but that’s where we are. Luckily, her terms were simple: don’t be late in the morning, and get a tutor for after school. I’m using my own hour to get tutoring, so all I’m asking of you is to ease up in the morning, for not just my sake. Look, I don’t want the authorities snooping around, because we both know you’d be in prison-”

“And you’d never be able to see your family again.”

“Yeah. So can we make that work?”

Unkar grunts, rolling his eyes. “Whatever. Just keep the authorities off my back.”

“Of course. I’ll still do my best to keep up with my work.”

“I’ll expect that.”

“Alright, I’ll go get to work now.” Rey hurries, backpack and all, out to the garage. Once at her workstation, she throws her backpack to the floor, then pauses. Ben’s instructions ring through her memory. She grabs his notebook, gently, carefully, hoping to return it to him in its pristine state. The crisp paper and neat handwriting clash loudly with her mess of a worktable and the dim, grimy garage. It seems sacrilegious to bring such a piece of art into her dusty life. 

_When would things change?_ Unkar is her key to getting her family back. Otherwise she’d have called the cops long ago, for more crimes than she could count. But she has to put up with it, and _him_ , if she wants her family back. They told him they’d come back for her, someday. She doesn’t know how to contact them, she needs her ‘uncle.’ She can’t lose hope. Maybe they’d come tomorrow, maybe when she turned eighteen. She can’t lose hope, not now. 

Sneaking glances at the notebook every so often, Rey pieces together project after project, until finally Unkar interrupts her, at eleven at night.

“That’s enough. You’re done for the night.” The hulking man lumbers off into the house once again, and Rey hears the drone of the television recommence. Quietly, she packs away her things, grabs all her schoolwork, and slips up the creaking stairs to her room, shutting the door behind her. Once inside, Rey breathes deep, thanking whatever luck helped her deal with Plutt today, since she managed to escape unscathed besides a skipped dinner. And even that isn’t much of an inconvenience, as Rey has learned that Unkar never checks her backpack, so she has taken to keeping snacks inside it. She waits for his loud snoring to drift up the stairs before unwrapping a granola bar and quickly consuming it. _It’s not like he cooks anything anyways._ Finally, she takes out her folders and Ben’s notebook, and tries to finish her calculus worksheet and grammar problems while scanning the history notes once more. 

————

Ben finally closes up his English reading for the night, and checks the clock. The blue digital face dutifully displays _11:00_ , and he sighs. Another late night with homework. But if he wants to be able to go to a good school without depending on his parents, Ben knows he has to put in the work. He reaches into his bag for- _oh_. He lent his notes to Rey. He wonders what she could be doing this late. _Probably working._ Yeah, probably. 

“Shoot!” He forgot to run to the store to get a notebook for her. He could still go and get it, it’s not like the All-mart closes ever. Maybe Rey works there? No, they pay above minimum wage. Whatever, if she wants to tell him, she will. But now, he needs to first keep his promise and get her a notebook.

Ben grabs his jacket, stepping down the stairs and into the high-ceiling living room. His mother is on the couch, typing on her laptop with some crime show playing on the TV in the background. Still, she hears him coming and looks up.

“I’m going to the store, I’ll be back in like an hour at most,” Ben explains.

“Why so late? And what for?” Leia replies, eyeing her son as he puts his jacket on.

“I need something for school. I promise I won’t be long.”

“Alright then, if you promise.” Ben begins to leave for the mudroom when she calls after him, “Be careful! Drive safe!”

“I know, I’m taking my car. I might need to get gas, too.”

“Okay, you have your credit card?”

“Yeah!” Ben slips on his shoes and grabs his keys from their hook on the wall.

“Alright, bye!”

Ben opens the door to the garage and hits the button to open the smaller stall’s door behind his car. As much as he resents his dad buying the car for him, it’s convenient, especially for times like this. 

It’s decidedly dark outside, and the chill of late winter settles itself around him as the car’s heat kicks in. Out of habit, Ben navigates to the All-mart. Having lived in the same neighborhood his whole life, he knew the way to most places even before he could drive. Soon enough, he’s pulling into a parking spot, turning the car off, getting out of it, and locking it. The cool night air bites at him, but his tall legs carry him quickly into the store. 

_Office supplies, office supplies,_ Ben repeats to himself, scanning the large overhead section signs hung from the ceiling. Then, his phone buzzes with a text from his mom.

 **Mom:** Could you pick up coffee creamer and staples while you’re there?

 **Ben:** Yeah

He replies quickly, then shoves his phone back in his pocket. 

Soon, he finds the aisle he’s looking for, grabbing staple refills, then surveying the notebooks. _What color?_ Green, like his? No, she’d probably find that weird. _But green is a social studies color._ But maybe not to her? Why is he freaking out over a stupid notebook that she’s not even going to think twice about? In the end, he picks out a green one and moves on. However, he stops in front of the folders. _She only had two, if she can’t afford a notebook then maybe she needs folders too? And what if she needs notebooks for other classes?_ Ben grabs a pack of folders, and two more notebooks, red and blue. Hopefully she wouldn’t be offended. He’s not trying to show off, or act like she needs charity. Shouldn’t a friend help her out? Yeah, this is just friendly. Not charity, not forced by his mom. His idea. 

Shaking his head, Ben leaves the office supplies, finding the dairy section. He picks up his mom’s coffee creamer and goes to pay for his stuff and leave. _That wasn’t so hard._

Ten minutes later, and he’s home again by eleven-forty-five. His mom is at the kitchen table when he comes in to put her coffee creamer in the refrigerator. 

“How’d it go?” she asks. “Oh, just put that on the shelf to your right, next to the ketchup.”

Ben obeys, and replies, “Good. Got your stuff too.”

“I see that. Thank you.” He walks over to Leia, digging out the staples from one of the bags.

“Here’s your staples,” he says as he hands the box to her.

“What else did you need to get?” Leia peers down at the bag in his hand before he turns to leave. 

“Stuff for school.”

Her eyebrows furrow in disapproval. “Is that, folders? Ben, did you already break your folders?”

He shrugs. “Something like that.”

“You should be more careful with your things.”

“I know. Goodnight, Mom.”

“Goodnight.” 

With that, Ben retreats back through the living room, up the stairs, and into his room. His dad isn’t home, like always, so he changes into nightclothes and gets ready for bed. Before finally going to sleep, he tucks Rey’s things into his back pack and zips it shut. He doesn’t even need to stay awake thinking before he’s asleep.

—–—————

Rey doesn’t remember falling asleep, but she awakens the next morning at four to the insistent beep of her alarm clock, surrounded by paper that had fallen out of her folder during the night.

“Dang it,” she mutters, remembering Ben’s ‘ _Try to be more organized_ ’ as she frantically shoves papers back into her backpack. It can’t be helped, however, because she has to be in the garage as soon as possible. 

As arranged, Unkar lightens her morning work, but still expects extra effort for inconveniencing him. School starts at seventy-thirty, so Rey takes her leave at seven. For once, she showers before school, and opts to throw her hair tie around her wrist, leaving her hair down to dry. She grabs cereal for breakfast, leaving herself with fifteen minutes to walk - not run - to school. Aside from feeling mildly sleepy, this day is already turning out great. Not even the icy air can dampen her spirits, Rey pulls her jacket up to her chin, grateful for her hair covering her ears. With the cold to spur her on, Rey makes it to school in ten minutes: five minutes before class would start. She sees Finn at his locker in the hall outside her history class, and stops.

“Rey? What are you doing here early?”

“I told you, my boss had a change of heart when I told him he’d be reported to law enforcement if he kept me from school.”

“Well, that’s great! Glad you’re here. You study for the quiz today?”

“History? Yeah, I did. I went to tutoring yesterday, and studied last night too.”

“You don’t even have notes, how’d that work?”

“My tutor lent me his.” Rey shifts uncomfortably, Finn is inching closer to guessing what went down yesterday.

“His? Now this is interesting,” Finn laughs.

“Lay off, Finn,” Rey replies in mock offense.

“Lay off who?” Rose asks, joining the two at Finn’s locker. “And Rey! Good to see you here so early.”

“Rey’s got a secret study boyfriend,” Finn answers.

“Do not! I’ve been to tutoring one day, and you’re already jumping all over this!”

“Alright you two, this sounds like a good story, but we’ve got two minutes before class, so you had better get going,” Rose breaks up the argument. “See you later!”

“Bye Rose!” Finn says, a little too loudly.

“Bye Rose!” Rey mocks, poking Finn in the ribs. “Could you be any more obvious?”

Finn sighs, “Apparently yeah, Rose just hasn’t picked up on it yet.”

“Lucky for you. You need to work on your wooing skills.”

“Whatever. Get to class, Rey.”

She yanks him by the sleeve. “You’re coming with me!”

“Oh yeah. Alright, then _let’s_ get to class.”


	4. Lockers, Scarlet Letters, and Phone Numbers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably not going to leave notes on every chapter... though I have a tendency to be wordy so I'm not sure! Anyways, no I do not have a beta reader- I'm just kinda vibing ya know? Aaaand we've caught up to my tumblr, so this is where I'm going to stop the update spam :) I'll pick up next week or something, see ya then!

With one minute to the start of class, Rey walks in with Finn. Not enough time for Ben to get her attention, and hand over her stuff. It’d probably be best if he didn’t do it in front of the whole class, in case she did take offense. He turns to review- _oh_. Rey still has his notes. 

As if on cue, she’s at his desk, holding out his notebook to him. “Thanks for letting me have these. I might not fail this quiz!” she laughs, and he takes it from her. 

“That’s good,” he replies, then the bell rings to start class, and Rey returns to her seat. 

The teacher’s voice sounds in the classroom. “Everyone, take your seats, and clear off your desk. If you managed to remember, we have a quiz today, so let’s get started.”

Ben turns around and meets Rey’s nervous glance with a reassuring nod. If he’s honest, he’s probably in the same boat as her. Without any time to review, he isn’t sure he remembers everything he needs to know, despite his confident display at tutoring. He just hopes Rey fares as well as, if not better, than him. 

One look at the quiz tells him yeah, he should’ve studied. _Oh well_. He can take the loss this once, his grade is practically perfect right now. At least maybe Rey has a shot. 

More than a shot, she’s the first one finished, besting even Armitage, the self-proclaimed history master. Ben can’t help but smile back at her ridiculous grin. 

Ten minutes later, Ben turns in his own quiz, and thirty minutes later, class ends. 

Ben’s desk is by the door, so he takes his time packing up, waiting for Rey to pass by with Finn. 

They’re laughing about something, and Finn gives her a push towards Ben, saying, “See you later!”

Rey calls out her own goodbye before turning back to Ben. “So, how’d that quiz go?”

“I’m not sure, how about you? You seemed pretty sure of yourself.”

“Oh yeah, that was so easy! It’s amazing what an hour of studying does.” Rey beams happily. “Now I just have to see if I was lucky enough to actually get my answers right.”

“I think you’ll be okay. Hey, can you come to my locker? I’ve got something for you.” 

Rey pauses, but quickly recovers. “Oh, sure! Where is it?”

“Just up the stairs. So you’ll be okay to get to Calc from there.”

“Great! How’d you know that was my second hour?”

“You and Finn were shouting about it the other day, couldn’t help but overhear.” The two climb the staircase, without getting knocked over this time, and reach Ben’s locker in the math hallway. “Here we are. Just a sec’, let me get it open.”

“You lock your locker?”

“Yeah-”

“I do too! I can’t help but be paranoid of having something stolen.”

“Same here.” The locker clicks open, and Ben swings the door, careful not to knock Rey. He picks up the folders and notebooks he bought the night before and holds them out to her. “I said I’d get you a notebook for history, but then I got folders and more notebooks too, so here they are. I thought it might be awkward to give you all this stuff during class. If you don’t want it, that’s okay, just thought I’d give you the option.”

“Wow, thank you! This is, incredible! You really didn’t have to do all this though-”

“It was no trouble. I just hope you’re not offended.”

Rey takes them from his hands and slips them into her backpack. “No, I really needed these. How can I thank you?”

“Start getting the grades we both know you can. That quiz today just proves my point.”

“Yeah, alright, I should go to class now. See you after school?”

“Don’t be late.”

“Hey, yesterday I just didn’t know where to go!”

“Then you won’t be late.”

“True. Bye!” Rey throws up a hand in a wave, and turns to go to her class just down the hall. Ben looks up at the clock in the hallway. _One minute_. He’s gonna have to hurry down to Advanced English. Usually, his locker stops don’t take this long, but… yeah. 

He ends up stepping through the door to his class just as the last tone of the bell sounds, earning a remark from his teacher, but he doesn’t mind. It’s the first time he’s cut it this close, but he wasn’t late, so the teacher won’t mark him down. The teacher begins to discuss _Pride and Prejudice_ , but Ben’s already planning out tutoring.

—————

Despite her triumph in History, Rey’s spirits took a dive in English. She hadn’t done the reading, again, and the teacher has started singling her out for it. _Whatever_. It’s not like she has time to read anyways. _Still, what a lousy way to end the school day._

Rey is still thinking about her mishaps when she pushes open the door to the library. In the same spot as yesterday, Ben sits and reads a book. _At least he reads_ , Rey thinks miserably. 

He looks up from his book as Rey drops her backpack to the floor and takes her seat. “Why the sad face?”

“I got totally humiliated in English just now for not reading the novel we’re working on,” Rey sighs. “Guess I can’t do everything, huh.”

“What’s keeping you from reading? Work?”

“Yep. Like, with the History notes, I just set them out and could scan them every so often. But a novel, that takes a lot more attention, otherwise I just don’t remember anything, then it’s a waste of time.”

“Well, we could read right now. I have to read, too.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping me with homework or something?”

“You struggle with History and English. We have no History homework, and I can’t help you read. So, you’ve got to read while you can. Plus, we both know you don’t really need help with homework, just time to do it.”

“Fair enough. Alright, I’m going to. But I’m going to hate it.”

“That’s what tutoring is all about.”

“You’re really selling it, aren’t you?”

“Do you have a choice?”

“Well, no. But still! You could at least get me excited.”

“Read. I’ve got my own book to read, but if you need help with vocab or something, wake me up.”

“Wake you up?”

“Yeah. I’m going to get lost in the book. So wake me up. But first, you’ve gotta read.”

“Alright.”

Rey picks up her book, _The Scarlet Letter_. If there was a more boring book ever to be assigned as homework, Rey couldn’t think of it. She sneaks a glance at Ben, who is already staring intently at his book. The cover, partly covered by his hand, reads… _Probe and what?_ No. What was Advanced English reading? Oh, _Pride and Prejudice_. _Ugh_. Long books are not Rey’s favorite. Then again, _The Scarlet Letter_ is not very long, but it certainly is tedious. _Nice vocab, Rey._ She should read. Yeah, that would be good. 

She reads, for like, five minutes, and then complains, “This literally makes no sense.” Ben doesn’t move, or react, in any way. Rey frowns, and tentatively waves her hand in front of her. “Ben?” Still nothing. Then, she has an idea. It’s terrible, but it’s an idea Rey cannot say no to. Tentatively, she gets up, checking for recognition in Ben’s face, and then she steps carefully around to his side of the table, right behind his seat. 

In one swift motion, Rey pushes her book right in front of his and says, “Wake up! I need help.”

Ben jumps in his chair, whipping around to face the unremorseful grin on Rey’s face, which quickly turns to laughter.

“You said to wake you up! So I did.”

“You didn’t have to take it that far.” Her smile is infectious, and Ben can’t tell whether he’s actually amused or just surprised by her prank. 

“Sorry!”

“You’re not.”

“I’m not.”

“You said you needed help?”

“Yeah, I do.” Rey returns to her seat and holds the book out in front of her. “I’m on chapter ten, and then ending makes no sense. Have you read it before?”

“Once, a while ago. Can I see the book?”

“Yeah, I’m on this part.” Rey points to the paragraph she’s on and lets Ben take the book.

He goes silent for a minute, eyes scanning the page. “Oh, this is when Chillingworth finds out Dimmesdale was Hester’s fellow adulterer. He’s got a scar on his chest like Hester’s ‘A.’ And then it’s comparing Chillingworth to Satan, further solidifying his symbolic representation of evil.”

“Ugh Chillingworth is really freaky. I knew he was up to no good.”

“Yeah. Ever since you meet him in the prison cell with Hester, he makes you shudder.”

“Totally. Anyways, thanks! I have to get through chapter twelve by tomorrow. I’m not sure I will, given I have maybe a half hour left.”

“What if you have questions?”

“I guess I’m stuck, huh. It’s okay! I can ask questions in class. Or not, because the teacher looks at you like you’re an idiot when you ask comprehension questions. Like, sorry I can’t understand Hawthorne’s writing when it was written a hundred years ago.”

“One hundred and sixty nine.”

“What?”

“It was written in eighteen-fifty. So, one hundred and sixty-nine years ago.”

“Okay, you got me. I should read.”

“Me too.”

Half a chapter later, and it’s time for Rey to leave. She begins putting her folders, each one labeled, in her backpack.

Before she says goodbye, Ben asks, “You sure you’re okay for that last chapter?”

“Probably, why?”

“Well, if you’ve got a phone, you could have my number in case you have a question.”

“Oh! That’s a good idea! Just, only for homework, my family keeps a close eye on what I use it for, since we have limited texts and calls.”

“Sounds good. Do you want me to write it down?”

“Nah, here, I got it loaded up.” Rey looks up from her tiny phone, one of the simple ones with a keyboard that slides out. He reads off his phone number, with Rey punching it in. She double checks it, then finally says goodbye. “Later!”

“Later,” Ben repeats, and she’s off.


	5. Too Late, Up Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, I guess I lied, I'm going to update once more, lol! Anyways, we learn some more about Ben's background, and he and Rey have their first fight awww! Kidding. Not entirely. Oh well. ***ALSO- TW*** because Unkar sucks. Again, I don't write graphic violence of any sort, but he is high-key neglectful and stuff, and that pops up this chapter. One final thought: I'm sorry that the formatting changed, I copied and pasted from my doc instead of my tumblr and the extra spacing happened, oops!

Later that night, Ben’s up again with homework. The clock reads  _ 11:35 _ when he finally shuts his book for the night, having gotten through the reading and analysis questions. He sneaks a look at his phone.  _ Still nothing _ . She’s got to be off work now; he should have asked her.  _ Oh well _ . No news is good news anyways. Ben knows it’s time for him to sleep, but  _ what if _ still nags him.  _ What if Rey really does need help, and I’m asleep? _ Well, she’s got to understand he needs to sleep, but he did tell her he’d help. 

For now, Ben has more time to solve his problem, because he’s hungry. In the kitchen, he takes out an apple from the fridge, checking his phone once more as he takes a bite out of it. 

So far, tutoring has been going pretty well. He’s starting to confirm his suspicion that Rey’s really not a failing student because she can’t succeed in schoolwork. She studies for History, and is magically confident on a quiz. She dedicates time to reading her book, and starts to comprehend it. It’s really too bad, that she has so much potential, but her situation holds her back. Ben wonders what her parents do, how this could have happened to someone who least deserved it. One of these days, he’ll get answers. After all, he made a promise to his mother to find out how to help her. It’s their junior year, not too late to turn her around from the path she’s trapped on.

Finished with the apple, Ben throws the core away and goes into the living room, his mother in the same spot as before. Silently, he decides to sit down on the couch next to her.

She looks up as he sinks onto the cushion beside her, and says, “Hey, Ben, late night again?”

“Yep,” he replies, glancing up at the same crime show on TV as last night.

“How late are you planning on being up tonight?”

“I don’t know.”

“Have you finished your homework?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why not go to bed?”

“Well, I would, but I told Rey that if she had questions about her book she could message me, but I forgot to ask her when she would get time to read.”

“Her job?”

“I don’t know when she gets off work. I’m assuming late if she never has time to do homework afterwards.”

“Ben, you need your rest.”

“I know, but I promised.”

“How about you just get ready for bed, then if she doesn’t say anything by then, you go to sleep?”

“Alright. She has my phone number, and I don’t have hers, so I wouldn’t be able to tell her.”

“It’ll be alright. Worst case, you answer her in the morning.”

“Okay. Well, can I stay up for fifteen more minutes? It’s eleven-forty-five.”

“If you think that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Okay,” Leia laughs. “When did you grow up?”

_ When you weren’t looking _ , he thinks, but shakes off the negative thought. They can try and make up for lost time, every little bit counts. So, instead, he replies, “I’m not sure, but it went fast.”

“That it did.” Leia reaches her arm up and around his shoulders, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “I love you, Ben. I want you to know that.”

“I do, Mom.” It’s hard for him to hear it, now that he’s so close to leaving home.

“My baby, almost done with high school. I can’t believe it.” She shakes her head, and squeezes his shoulder. “You’re a good kid, Ben. I don’t deserve you. But I’ll try anyways.”

Yeah, she would. Ben’s always been closer with his mother than his father, mainly because she was home more often than his father. Han ran a shipping business, based out of Atlanta, so he was rarely home, if ever, preferring to stay at the base. Ben remembers his parents fighting a lot when he was younger. He doesn’t know much about their history, aside from what his mother would tell him when we was younger. They met in college, and got married shortly thereafter. Once the honeymoon phase wore off, they realized they were very different people. Han was always working on his business, and not very attentive to others. Leia was the opposite, working to help society, getting a job teaching at Illeenia High, and having Ben. 

Children can bring a marriage together, or tear it apart. Ben’s birth brought Han back to the home for the early years of Ben’s life, but as his business took off, and parenting became more complicated, he began fighting with Leia, and then took off. From then on out, he was in and out of the house. Sometimes, he would be allowed to take Ben with, but only for a few days, and only under Leia’s terms. Now, they’re practically divorced, only seeing each other during a holiday or two. 

Still, it wasn’t all Han’s fault. Leia can be overbearing and headstrong, often clashing with Han’s free spirit and determination. In the end, mistakes were made, and reconciliation seems frankly impossible, since it would require each to admit his or her own faults.

So Ben lives with his mother, their nice house and cars supported by Han, everything else taken care of by Leia. Does he wish his dad had stayed at home? Is he still secretly hoping his parents will set aside their differences and they’ll be a normal family? Of course. But as the years have come and gone, so have his hopes, instead being filled with resentment and disappointment. 

All this Ben reminisces on as he stares blankly at the television, waiting for a notification from his phone. Fifteen minutes come and go, and he says goodnight to his mom and climbs the stairs to his room, throwing on nightclothes once more, and taking his phone with him to brush his teeth. 

And then, the screen lights up.  _ One message from unsaved number _ . Rey. Ben rinses out his mouth and toothbrush and hurriedly picks up the phone, unlocking it and opening the message.

**Rey** **:** _ Hey, it’s Rey. I finally got off work like a half hour ago, and I’m reading my book. Sorry if you’re  _ _ asleep, but I figured you could respond in the morning if you are.  _

**Rey:** Anyways, _ I had a question. In chapter twelve, what does somnambulism mean? _

**Ben:** I’m _ still awake. And it means sleepwalking. _

Her reply comes a few seconds later.

**Rey:** Thank _ you! I might have another question, but it might take me a little bit, so if you go to sleep, it’s okay. _

**Ben:** No _ problem. And I’m going to be up for a bit longer too. _

_ Because of you _ , he doesn’t add. She doesn’t respond, and Ben assumes it’s because of the limit. He saves her number as “Rey (Tutoring),” and returns to his room, grabbing his backpack as he goes to the bed. Setting his phone face-up on the nightstand, he sits down and pulls out his laptop.  _ Might as well work on my essay while I’m waiting. _

Now that he thinks of it, she must not have a computer, or internet, because she asked about a definition he could look up on his phone. Maybe he’d end up proving more helpful than he’d originally thought. He swings his legs up and onto the bed, pulling his laptop onto his lap. 

The next message comes in fourteen minutes later. Ben rolls over to grab his phone.

**Rey:** _ Another question. Why does Pearl keep asking about standing on the platform together? _

**Ben:** One _ minute. I need to find a copy of the book. Chapter 12 still? _

**Rey:** _Yeah_

In a moment Ben gets up, and goes over to his bookshelf. Whenever he reads a book for class, he buys his own copy of it to mark up.  _ The Scarlet Letter _ should be around here somewhere; his sophomore Advanced English read it last year. Finally, he spots it on the second-to-lowest level, on the right side. Ben grabs the book, flipping to chapter twelve, and returning to the bed to grab his phone. He rereads the passage Rey’s referencing, and replies.

**Ben:** _ She knows Dimmesdale is her father, and wants them to all be seen together. I guess you could say she doesn’t want him to be ashamed of her, or something like that. _

**Rey:** _Alright_ , _ thanks _

Ben keeps reading, wondering how fast Rey is reading the same book. She seems to comprehend the old language, aside from a few terms Ben himself had to look up last year. So far the main thing has been comprehension questions, but he could attribute that to the late hour. Soon, his phone lights up once more.

**Rey:** I’ve _ finished, and I think I’m good. Thanks for your help! _

**Ben** _**:** You’re welcome, and you should get some rest. _

**Rey:** _ Haha I wish. I’ve still got a few things to wrap up, but I should be good to finish on my own. _

**Ben:** _ Take care of yourself, k?  _

**Rey:** _ Of course. Get some rest _

**Ben:** _ You too _

**Rey:** _ Yep, I will _

Deciding to leave the conversation as-is, Ben plugs the phone in and shuts off the lamp on the nightstand. Before he falls asleep, his last thought is of Rey, still working at her homework, and he hopes that things start to go her way.

\---------

Rey sets her phone down with a soft smile. She didn’t really need to tell Ben that she finished reading, but she did it anyway. Cost her seven texts, but it was worth it.  _ Was he really awake? Or did I wake him up? _ Whatever the case, he had answered, and now Rey can focus on other homework. Or not, because she’s still thinking about Ben. How could he have been working on homework this late? She’d have to ask him sometime. 

Little by little, she completes her Calculus homework. Then, she moves on to her chemistry homework: writing out a lab. She wonders what other classes Ben takes. She’s in his World History class, and that’s about it, except lunch. All juniors share the same lunch period. Again, another question for later, if she gets the chance to ask. It’s not like he encourages conversation during tutoring, but then again she makes time without even trying. One of these days she’ll make it work. 

When Rey finally finishes her homework, it’s one in the morning. She shuts her light off and within minutes she’s asleep.

\-------------

The next day passes much like these past two days. Rey wakes up early and then goes to school. She and Ben meet for tutoring. Rey goes home to work, and they both stay up late with homework. Finally falling asleep hours after they should have.

The only things that are changing are Rey’s grades, and Unkar’s compliance with Rey’s changing schedule.

On Thursday, Rey walks into the house three minutes past the hour she is allowed, and Unkar is waiting for her. Rey freezes at the steely expression on his face, turning her gaze to the floor.

“You’re late.”

She swallows slowly, her mouth becoming dry. “I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you do it anyway?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.”

She knows it won't help, but she says it anyways, “I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re not. You will be. Get to the garage, and get working. If you’re not done by eleven, we’re going to have issues. I need all those projects done for tomorrow.”

“I’ll have it done.”

“You had better. Get moving.”

Rey doesn’t wait for another word. She quickly, but carefully, goes out to the garage, thoroughly chilled by the still-wintry air of February, and Unkar follows her.

“Now get to work. And remember, you have until eleven.”

Seven hours pass, and Rey’s fingers feel warm and have a red tinge to them. In fact, everything hurts, everything is numb. But she finished. And that’s all that matters. Tomorrow she cannot be late again.

Climbing upstairs, Rey enters her bedroom and makes her way to the bed, wrapping herself tight in the thin blankets, hoping she can restore warmth fast enough for her to be able to fall asleep. Everything stings and tingles with cold. Tomorrow she can’t be late. Tomorrow she won’t be late.

\-------------

Ben wakes up Friday morning in a fog. He stayed up much later than he should have, waiting for any questions Rey might have had and then for confirmation that she finished her homework. In the end, neither came, and Ben’s eyes had slipped shut for the night around three in the morning. He knows he shouldn’t expect to hear from her, but his mind kept telling him to wait anyways. 

And now he’s dead on his feet tired as he drags himself through his morning. His mother is busy when he goes downstairs for breakfast, but one look at her son causes her to worry.

“Ben, you look terrible.”

“Thanks mom,” Ben sighs, half laughing, half yawning.

“Seriously, why were you up so late?”

“Oh, you know, homework. The usual.” He makes a bowl of cereal and begins to eat.

“Ben, this is not okay. You’re going to struggle today.”

“I know, Mom. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You know you don’t have to try so hard on your work. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you can lighten up, you know. I doubt anyone in that school works as hard as you do. It’s okay if you’re not perfect.”

“I got it, Mom. I’ll make it through today alright.”

“Are you going to cancel tutoring?”

“No. Rey needs to study. Plus, its Friday. I can sleep in tomorrow.”

“You need to get home.”

“Mom, I’ll be fine.”

“I hope so.” Leia puts an arm around his shoulders and leans her head onto his for a moment. “We’re leaving in ten minutes, okay.”

“Okay.”

Ten minutes later, Ben slides into the passenger seat, his mother insisting on driving them both this morning. He leans his head back and closes his eyes for the five minutes it takes to drive to the school. It’s seven o’clock when they make it to school, since Leia always needs to be in early. Ben takes a fifteen minute nap on the couch in the main office, then goes to History. Rey is nowhere to be found, as usual. 

As he takes his seat at his desk, the teacher speaks up. “I have your quizzes graded, and I must say your score surprised me, Solo.”

He shifts uncomfortably. _This can't be good._ “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“I hope you’re not taking a page out of Miss Kryze’s book now that you’re spending time together.”

“No. I gave her my notes to study for the quiz, so I didn’t do any studying.”

“That explains her score then.”

“She did well?”

“That’s for her to tell you," he says sharply.

“Alright. I’ll make sure to study next time.”

“Please do.”

An awkward silence develops after his teacher turns back to his computer screen. Sure, maybe Ben feels a little embarrassed, but at least Rey probably did well. Still, he can’t stay in this stifling classroom for another ten minutes until class starts, despite the few other students starting to trickle in. He gets up, moving his backpack under his desk and leaves the classroom, not really caring where he ends up. Maybe he should get water. 

His mind wanders, and he doesn’t really register anything passing by him. The day stretches out in front of him as long as the mile race in gym class. The five minute warning bell sounds through the school, and Ben reluctantly makes his way back to class. Still no sign of Rey.  _ What happened last night? _ If she’s late again, he knows his mom will take things into her own hands.  _ Should he text her?  _ Maybe she overslept. But that’s not like her; she has work before school. 

Ben spots Rey in the hallway, arms wrapped around her notebook, her gaze on the floor in front of her. 

“Hey,” Ben greets her, having moved to walk beside her. 

“Oh, hi,” she replies rather dazedly. She looks up briefly to confirm his identity, then reverts back to her blank stare at the ground as they walk. 

They’re too close to the classroom for Ben to have enough time to say what he needs to say. He gently tugs at the elbow of her sweatshirt. “Hey, come here a second.”

She follows him to the side of the hall, and Ben glances at the clock,  _ three minutes _ . 

“Rey, what happened last night?”

Her eyes widen imperceptibly, and she pauses before responding, “What do you mean?”

“Last night. You didn’t say whether you finished your homework or not.”

“Do I have to?” she accuses, a bit harsher than her usual mocking tone. 

“No, but I just thought-”

Rey cuts him off, abruptly and swiftly leaving to go to the classroom. “I have to go to class.”

“Rey,” Ben begins, but she’s already gone. Slowly, his head reaches his feet and he begins to follow her, the bell ringing as he sets foot in the classroom.

“Take your seat, Solo, or I’ll mark you tardy,” Mr. Snoek remarks sharply. Ben casts a glance at Rey, who refuses to look back. Tutoring today is bound to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe anyone remember where Han's business is based out of? Yeah, Atlanta. What's Atlanta's football team? The Falcons! :D


	6. Spacing Out, Nurse's Office Hangouts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew here's an update!! can I just say this was honestly one of my favorite parts to write :)

First period ends, and Rey jumps up and practically runs out the door. She got an A on the quiz, but she’s not about to talk to Ben about it. Who does he think he is, getting upset over the fact that she neglected to text him goodnight after she literally sat through hours of freezing temperatures. Rey still feels soreness in her ears, nose, and fingers, and has blisters on her hands. Maybe she should let the nurse check it out, just because if her hands are out of commission, Unkar’s going to have a fit. Yeah, she should go to the nurse. Beats falling asleep in class anyways. Maybe that’s why Ben always went there.  _ Ben. _ Rey frowns involuntarily. Honestly, what’s gotten into him? He’s prying, and deep down Rey’s afraid he knows more than he’s letting on. 

Ms. Kanata greets Rey as she walks in. “What did Ben do this time?”

_ Wouldn’t you like to know _ , Rey thinks to herself, but instead she smiles and replies, “Oh, nothing this time. I’ve just got some weird blisters on my hands.”

“Let me see what I can do. Hop on the cot over there,” the nurse motions to the corner of the room, to the left of the door, where there’s a standard-issue-nurse’s-office cot with sanitary paper covering a mattress encased in the same faux-leathery material as a school bus seat, only colored blue. Rey sits obediently on the cot, and Ms. Kanata takes her hands, examining the red-blue spots of raised skin on her fingers. 

“Well, they aren’t bruises, she decides after a few moments. 

Rey nods. Willing her hands not shake or sweat, she swallows the burning desire to blurt how she incurred her injuries. “No. They’re also itchy too.”

The nurse frowns once more. “Hm. It is winter, have you been in the cold a lot?”

Rey’s thoughts drift back to the garage. “Yeah.”

“My guess is chilblains. So you don’t need to worry too much, just don’t itch or break the skin, otherwise you’ll get an infection. You can stay here if you want, writing with a pencil isn’t going to help your situation. I can have your teachers bring your work to you.”

“That would be perfect. Thank you,” Rey replies, inching backwards on the cot to rest her back on the wall, letting her feet swing. The air smells like hand sanitizer and alcohol wipes; the walls are an overwhelming beige. Rey wonders how anyone could get better in room like this. 

Chilblains, from the cold, great. Just what she needs- her hands incapacitated. Not that that’ll matter to Unkar anyway, she’ll be working the same schedule as always. That’s just the way it goes. He’ll get upset if she tries to complain, so really the only harm done by the injury is to herself. She’s always the one to swallow the pain, to shoulder the burden, to push through trouble. Because she has no other option. Besides, her family loves her, and if they thought that this is good for her, then it is. She’s going to earn her way to seeing them again.

After about fifteen minutes, Ms. Kanata gets up from her desk. “I have to run down to the copier, you just sit tight, I’ll be right back.”

Rey simply nods and smiles. A sigh of relief escapes her when the door clicks shut. Ms. Kanata’s gaze has always been piercing, scrutinizing, as if she knows Rey is lying. However, her relief is soon interrupted. Not two minutes pass, and the door swings open once more. Rey looks up, expecting Ms. Kanata, and instead finds Ben. 

His mouth opens, then closes, then opens again as he says, “I can leave.”

She tilts her head, asking, “Why?” even though she very well knows why he’s on edge with her.

“I’m not stalking you, I swear.”

“I wasn’t thinking that until you said it.” Rey cracks half a smile. “Ms. Kanata went to make copies I think, but she’ll be back soon.”

He shrugs. “Okay. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, got some blisters from the cold on my hands.” She holds up her hands, flipping them over one at a time to show off the discoloration. 

“Do you need gloves or something?”

“No, it was from work. It was pretty cold out yesterday, and I had a long shift.”

“What kind of job do you have?” Ben’s tone comes out more incredulous than he meant, and he instantly regrets it. Rey’s eyes turn as icy as her hands must have been last night. 

“What’s it to you? Back off.” She turns her gaze to the wall, and tucks her knees to her chest on the cot.

“Rey, I didn’t-” Ben runs a hand through his hair in distress.

“Will you just leave me alone?”

“I’m sorry.” 

Ben opens the door, ready to leave, but Rey stops him. “No, if you need the nurse, you need the nurse. Just, don’t talk to me.”

Silently, he shuts the door behind him. Rey moves to her left, closer to the corner of the room. The silence can’t be described as awkward, just, tense. Questions hang in the air, questions Ben wants answers to but won’t ask.  _ Good for him _ . Rey doesn’t owe him anything. She’ll admit maybe she’s being a little unfair seeing as it wasn’t  _ truly _ his fault that she was late yesterday, but Rey doesn’t know who else to blame, other than herself. Still, she targets herself so often it’s gotten old. Ben and his mother started this mess, and now they’re trying to get information Rey doesn’t want to share. As much as she can’t stand Unkar, he’s made it clear that he’s the only way she can find her family, and that knowledge has her paralyzed, right where Unkar wants her. She’s tired of these games, of working practically slave labor for a worthless human being, but the light at the end of the tunnel is closer than ever- too close to let the Organa-Solos stop it.

People like that, like Ben, like Poe even, or any other kid at this school, they don’t understand. They can’t. They’ve got picturesque families, they’ve got money, they’ve got their whole life ahead of them, shining and certain. Rey has none of that, just a feeble shred of a promise of a family to find one day. And, she’s got her petty excuse of a life that she leads right now, that’s it. Half a future and a living nightmare of a present. No one cares. If anyone were to find out how Rey really lives, they’d scoff, scolding her for not simply calling the authorities sooner. They could never comprehend the deep longing for her family, for a home, deep enough to entrench her in this nightmare for seven years. She owes that longing her life. 

\-------------

With a click and creak, the door swings open a few minutes later to reveal Ms. Kanata, as she smacks Ben in the back with it.

“Ah!” He jumps and turns around. Rey’s mouth drops open and her hand flies to her face to stifle a laugh.

“Ben! I’m so sorry about that, are you alright?” the nurse exclaims as Ben reaches to rub the sore spot. 

“Yeah,” he groans. “I’m fine.”

Ms. Kanata grins. “Well other than your back, what else can I help you with?”

“I originally came in here for my headache, but now I think my back hurts so bad, I can’t think about the migraine.”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry. Do you need to sit down for a bit? There’s surely enough room for you and Rey to sit on the cot.”

“Oh, I can leave, so Ben can lie down,” Rey interjects, leaning forward to stand up.

“Absolutely not. I don’t want you going anywhere until those blisters heal a little. Here, Ben, sit right there.” The petite woman motions to a spot on the opposite end of the cot as Rey.

Ben begins to say, “I think I’ll be okay,” but finds himself interrupted.

“Ben, it’s fine. Just sit down,” Rey says, hoping her eyes convey reassurance.

“Alright.”

Ms. Kanata looks back and forth between the two, reading something she evidently can’t place. Ben takes his seat, and the nurse wanders back to her desk. 

“Can I get you some medicine, Ben?” she asks.

“Yeah, actually, that sounds good.” Ms. Kanata pulls a clattering bottle of pain killers out of one of the drawers in an organizing shelf behind her, counts two, and hands them to Ben. “Thanks.”

“No worries. You need water?”

“Yeah, but I can get it.” Ben starts to stand up, but it still by a pointed look from the nurse. 

“It’s no trouble, just sit down.”

“But-” she’s gone before he can finish his thought. Leaving him with Rey, who doesn’t want to talk to him, for some reason. He steals a glance in her direction. Resting her head against the wall, Rey has her eyes closed, her hands in her lap, and her legs criss-crossed underneath her. Ben sighs, leaning his own head back against the wall behind him. His head is still throbbing with pain, given that he hasn’t had any medicine yet. The harsh lighting of the fluorescent cylinders in the ceiling certainly doesn’t help. 

His eyes slip shut, and then snap back open a moment later when the nurse returns. He takes his medicine, and lets himself drift off. Ms. Kanata soon leaves to eat lunch, advising the two students to get someone in the main office next door if they need something.

\--------

Ben’s breathing evens, and Rey chances a glance at him. Worry lines and the frown on his face from earlier are smoothed out in rest. His arms are crossed across his black sweater, and given the angle of his head against the wall, his hair has fallen back, revealing half his comically pronounced ear. Rey catches herself staring for longer than she had intended; her face snaps back forward, but she lets her eyes flit to her right every so often.  _ He should be lying down,  _ she thinks, and thinks again, enough to put her in motion. 

Letting her feet drop to the floor, Rey slides forward on the cot and stands up. Ben’s eyes flutter open as he registers the movement through the cushion. His brow furrows and he sits up as she moves to stand right in front of him. 

“Move over,” Rey explains. “So you can lie down.”

“Oh.” He moves over, and sits where Rey was before.

“No, you can lie down, I’m moving to the chair over there.” She points to a chair by Ms. Kanata’s desk.

“Oh, thanks.”

“Yeah.” Rey takes her seat, moving it against the four-foot-wide space of wall in between Ben and the door he was hit with earlier. When she sees the questioning look on Ben’s face, she replies, “I want neck support, and it’d be awkward sitting right next to Ms. Kanata. Also, you need to lay down.”

He smirks. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, but, oh whatever. You know now.”

“Hey, it’s okay, thanks, I think?”

“Sure,” Rey answers, stifling a smile.

“I saw that,” Ben accuses.

“Your word against mine.”

“Yeah who do you think people would believe?”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“Who would agree with you?”

“Well-”  _ No, Finn would definitely believe she smiled at that _ . “Alright, you got me.”

“Knew it.”

“Did not.”

“Yeah, I did. That’s why I said it.”

“Go to sleep.”

“Fine. It’s kind of weird with you right there, though.”

“I don’t want to sit by Kanata, so you’re dealing with it. I won’t stare or something.”

“Sure, okay. Like you don’t stare at me in History.”

Rey tries to convincingly roll her eyes in a non-guilty way, but she’s pretty sure she failed miserably. “I told you, I space out in your direction.”

“Whatever, then don’t space out in my direction.”

“Will you just lay down? Ben, you want the migraine to go away, right?”

“I can’t, you’re still here.”

“Well- hey!” Rey processes the insult a second late, earning a chuckle from Ben.

“Just kidding.”

Rey rolls her eyes and huffs. “Sure, whatever.”

“Hey, I’m serious. It’s always so lonely in here, it’s fun having you here too.”

“Oh it’s  _ so _ much fun hanging out in the nurse’s office. Hashtag hang out goals!”

“You aren’t able to hang out anywhere else, outside of school I mean.”

Rey feels her eyes dim and her smile go slack. “I know.” 

Ben’s eyes widen, and he blurts, “Sorry, was that pushing it? I didn’t mean to, I know you’re upset. I just wish you’d tell me why.”

“It’s too complicated,” she replies simply.

“Alright. It’s okay.”

“Really?”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I guess it’s, well, I don’t know. I guess I’m just used to people pushing me.”

“I know how that feels.”

“How?”

“When my dad finally left. And people found out. Too many questions, it was so fake. No one really cares. And when they thought you weren’t listening, they’d joke about it. That’s why I keep to myself a lot. I guess I never really recovered.”

“Ben, I’m so sorry. Believe me, I’m not faking it when I say I know your hurt.” Rey finds herself looking into Ben’s dark eyes, catching flashes of her own in them. So much hurt, confusion, wanting without ever receiving, it all resonates so deeply within her. They say the eyes are a window into the soul, and right now Rey couldn’t help but understand the saying. 

“I know.” 

Hesitantly, delicately, she reaches for his hands clasped in his lap, and gently squeezes them. What more could she say? Her eyes tell more than words ever could. All at once, Rey finds herself aware of her heart beating in her chest, and she quickly snaps out of the moment. 

“Yeah, I’m here for you, you know. I think…” She pauses, drawing in a breath before finishing the thought. “I think I can say we’re friends.”

“Me too. Thanks for understanding, I don’t really like to talk about it.”

“Me neither, and thank you, too.” Rey smiles, then adds, “Now take a nap. You had better be ready for tutoring.”

Ben settles down, returning the grin. “Okay, okay.” A few minutes later, he’s drifted off, and Rey finds herself struggling to keep her promise not to space out in his direction.


	7. the use in dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man this past week has been insane, sorry for the short chapter- one that's HEAVILY dialogue too, oof if that's not your preference :( I have some good ideas for next chapter though, so hang on with me if ya want! Anyways as always, thanks for reading, I'm having a lot of fun!

When Ben wakes up later, he finds Rey’s seat empty. Slowly he sits up, blinking sleep out of his eyes. 

Ms. Kanata greets him from her desk. “Good to see you’re up. Rey went back to class, she didn’t want to miss English.”

_ She didn’t- what? English, really? _

The nurse continues, “She was reading her book and then said she wanted to class. Oh, there’s about six minutes to the bell, so you had perfect timing.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me stay here.”

“Of course. I’m glad you had more company than just me here this time.”

Ben laughs, “Yeah.”

“So everything’s okay with you both?”

He tilts his head in question. “What do you mean?”

“I couldn’t help but notice a lot of tension when I first walked in on you.” 

“Oh, yeah, it’s all worked out,” Ben replies, fighting a blush.

“Good. I’m glad you’re making friends.”

“Thanks.”

“You can head out now, the bell’s about to ring.”

“Okay, well, thank you again, and have a good day.”

“I certainly did.” Ms. Kanata smiles and tosses up a wave as Ben exits into the hallway. The bell sounds as the door clicks shut behind him, and the hallway is instantly full of students desperate to leave the school as soon as possible. Eventually he makes it down the stairs, taking a left to go to the library. 

Ben sets his bag down at their usual table, and takes his seat. The other students begin to file in and find their own tables. Some cast a glance his way, but most remain focused on their task. But he’s not looking for these students, he’s watching the door expectantly for Rey. She made a bold move, going to her English class even when she had a free pass out. It’s one he normally wouldn’t expect, and didn’t at first, but now that he’s thought about it, that’s who Rey is. She just needs a push forward, and then there’s no stopping her. She’s got a lot holding her back, he saw that in her eyes earlier, but she has so much strength that if she gets the help she needs, she could make things better for herself. 

The door to the library swings open once again, this time Rey walks through. The grin on her face is unmistakable, so English must have gone at least a little well. 

As she takes her seat across from him, he asks, “Good day?”

“Oh yeah.” Rey answers.

“English?”

“Yep! Guess what?”

“What?” Her excitement is infectious, and Ben catches himself cracking a smile, too.

“So, we had another reading assignment, right? And we always have a class discussion the next day. That was today. I had a lot of time to read in the nurse’s office, and I even took some notes and thought a lot about it. And then in class, I shared some of my notes and the teacher said, ‘See, this is how you all should be doing the reading; good job, Rey.’”

“That’s great! I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, really, I wouldn’t be this far without your help.”

Ben shakes his head. “I think you would.”

“No…” Rey drags out the vowel, vehemently shaking her head in disagreement. “No way!”

“Rey, I’ve barely done anything besides redirect you. This,” Ben motions to her homework now on the desk, “is all you.”

“That’s not true! You taught me how to take notes and stuff too!”

“Only because you didn’t know how already. Seriously, all I did was speed things up. You’re putting in the work.”

She shrugs sheepishly. “Well, I guess, thanks.”

He breathes out a laugh and responds, “Yeah, no worries. What do you have to work on today?”

“Just math, but I’m good at that.” Rey begins shuffling through her backpack to find the folder she has marked for math. 

As she takes out her worksheets, he replies, “Yeah, luckily there’s no history today.”

Her eyes light up. “I know, can you believe it?”

“Hardly. I’m expecting an email later tonight saying, ‘Just kidding, haha!’”

“Tell me about it. What is that guy’s deal?”

Ben shrugs simply. “He’s pretty old, so maybe he’s upset that school isn’t like how it used to be.”

Rey pauses, considering his words, then says, “Maybe. Still. I don’t like it.”

“Me neither.”

She casts a glance up from her worksheet. “I heard Finn saying there might be a group project coming up.”

“Really? How many people per group?”

“Not sure. I hope it’s not partners.”

“Why not?”

She explains slowly, as if a little ashamed. “Well, because Finn and Poe are going to work together and I’ll be left stranded.”

“I know. But different reasons for me. Armitage and Gwen fight over me because they know I do all the work.”

Rey’s jaw drops for just a moment, before she laughs, “Wow, you need better partners.”

“Well, how about if it’s two-person groups, we can just work together.” Ben gauges her reaction, inwardly cringing in case he was too forward.

“Yeah! That’d be great! Then I wouldn’t be stranded and you wouldn’t be taken advantage of!”

“Are you sure about that second part?”

Rey blinks as his implication clicks, and her face darkens. “Hey! That’s rude. I know I don’t have a computer, but I’ll still do what I can.”

“I’m just kidding, I know. You’re a good student.”

“Ha. Nice one.” Her sarcasm is unmistakable. 

“I’m serious!”

“You are not.” Rey rolls her eyes.

“Yes you are! You just lack the resources to do it. We both know that if we traded lives you’d be kicking me in grades.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

She fidgets uncomfortably. “Well, it’s not going to happen so what’s the use in dreaming?”

“Rey, you can do anything you work for.” He’s not giving up that easy. 

“I know.”

“Then what’s holding you back?”

“Ben, I…”

“Right. I’m sorry. Forget it, really. I’m sorry. It’s just that I really want to see you succeed, but I get that our definitions of that might be different. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

Rey sighs. “Thanks. I’m sorry, I know I’m not one explain. I just feel like I can’t, because no one really would understand. I want so much, but I’m afraid to say it because I don’t want people to know I didn’t succeed.”

“It’s okay, honestly. I get it.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, now that you’re well on your way to acing all your classes, what’s next?”

“I…” Rey pauses, setting down her pencil. “I don’t know. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it this far.”

“That’s okay.”

“Yeah I mean I still need this time for working on homework so it’d be nice to leave things the way they are.”

“Can do.”

Rey returns to her math homework, and Ben finds himself staring. She's so intent about everything, it's obvious from her eyes to her body language. No wonder she's improving quickly. The longer he stares, the more her begins to notice things- things like the wisps of hair falling from her ponytail. He wonders what it'd look like down. Not that it's a problem that she wears it up- it's practical, and he appreciates that about her. Even though she likes to have fun, she knows how to work hard. Obviously, she works hard at a job- the details of which he still hasn't the slightest idea, but anyways, it's nice to see her finally able to work at school. He remembers the shine of her eyes when she'd described English class. Her eyes are nice, _wait what?_ He shakes his head, realizing he's been spacing out in her direction. Carefully, so as not to disturb Rey, Ben digs through his backpack for his book and begins to read. That is, until he finds himself rereading the same sentence over and over again, his mind too cluttered to focus. 

He sighs- a bit too loud, because Rey looks up, and smirks. "Having trouble there?"

_ You have no _ idea. He almost chokes at the realization- and- _get it together, Ben, or she'll suspect something_. "Uh, believe it or not, sometimes I have trouble focusing, too."

She doesn't reply, holding his gaze intensely, like she's searching for the lie. Then, she raises her eyebrows, like she's found one. 

Ben blurts awkwardly, "What's it to you, anyways?"

"Leverage," she states simply, and refocuses on her work. He shakes his head, willing his mind to focus on the book. Anything, anything but the curve of her mouth, the light in her eyes. And then, she speaks again, asking innocently, "Why are you so..."

"So..."

"I'm not sure the right word to use. Y'know, connotations are everything. I guess. I might say that you seemed almost guilty."

"That's probably the worst word you could have used."

"Uh huh."

"And, I thought you had caught me spacing out for a second. I guess you didn't." Now it's his to watch her squirm. It was a risky admission, but one he doesn't regret- that phrase carries a lot of weight for her. 

"Oh," she says quietly, then chuckles a bit. "Alright then."

They share a knowing smile, then their eyes dart away from the other's, back to their work. No more spacing out today.


End file.
